Your life doesn’t just “happen”. You choose what happens. You choose if you are going to be happy or sad. You choose if you are going to be successful or not. Don’t blame other people, conditions, or things. Take responsibility and make things happen. You have the freedom to choose.
One of the differences between humans and animals is our capacity for self-awareness. When something happens to animals, they usually react in a pre-programmed way. Humans, on the other hand, can pause, reflect, and decide how to respond.
When you’re proactive, you have the option to choose how to respond. Your response will determine how your life evolves. For example, say you make plans to go on a picnic and then it rains. You can either let the rain ruin your plans or you can turn lemons into lemonade and find a fun way to spend the day despite the rain.
This approach works no matter how bad the circumstances are. Victor Frankl, a Jewish psychiatrist, is proof of this. His entire family was murdered (except his sister) and he was imprisoned in a German concentration camp during World War II. Under these terrible circumstances, he became aware of what he named “the ultimate human freedom”, which not even the Nazis could take away from him. They could control his external circumstances, but it was him who chose how these circumstances were going to affect him.
Even if you are not be able to control the circumstances that life presents to you, you can always choose how you respond to those circumstances. Your response will have a huge impact on your life.
The thing that determines our life is not what happens to us, but how we RESPOND to what happens to us. This takes practice. However, with practice, you, too, can actively determine your response to any given hardship.
When you encounter an obstacle, stop to consider your response. Instead of reacting automatically without even thinking, stop for a moment. Consider the root causes of the problem (see the 5 Whys Template to uncover the root cause) and then focus your energy on the things you CAN do.
Think of a situation that is bothering you or a goal you want to reach. Relate to this situation and write three sentences below that start with:
- I can …
- I will …
- I prefer …
There are some things that we can do nothing about (politics, the weather, etc). Always focus your efforts on the things you control and you can do something about.