Build stronger relationships by truly understanding others.
Communication is the most important skill in life. People often focus more on expressing themselves than listening to others. An effective communicator will first seek to understand another’s views before seeking to be understood.
Highly effective people listen before they talk. Good communication is the biggest part of any meaningful relationship. Unfortunately, most people talk more than they listen. However, to cultivate good personal relationships, you must also understand and to do that you must learn to listen.
The best way to listen is called ”empathetic listening”. This requires you to tune into someone’s frame of reference both intellectually and emotionally. It means not only hearing the person’s words, but also understanding what lies behind them. To do this, you need to listen to everything they have to say. Don’t interrupt them to offer advice until you clearly understand what they are trying to say to you. Don’t reply with a story of your own.
Instead, identify the feeling the other person is trying to articulate and make a comment related to that person such as “that sounds very difficult to deal with”. For this to work, it is important that your interest is sincere.